


Second Guess These Words Of Mine

by reptiley



Series: Warm Sun [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Famnesia game, M/M, Not Beta Read, Rating May Change, y'all
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-09-07 08:40:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20306620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reptiley/pseuds/reptiley
Summary: Niles saw a cute orc once and couldn't stop drawing him for weeks. It's all fun and games until said orc accidentally takes the notebook that contains several weeks' worth of sketches of himself.Title inspo





	1. Just Don't Steal From Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first encounter, the second sighting, and 50 first doodles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did it fam! :fingerguns:
> 
> In case you were wondering, yes the chapter title comes from [this piece of art.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ub9EfEUSpIc)

Niles is standing too close to the bus doors when they open and he’s too caught up in his own thoughts to notice the orc already stepping down. The orc, on the other hand, doesn’t see him because he’s still trying to hold onto the railing at the same time as he puts a bookmark in the book he’s struggling to keep open. He stumbles down and Niles looks up right on time to see him and take a step back so the orc only bumps his shoulder rather than run him over. The bigger man doesn't stop but he turns to flash a tusky smile and yell out an apology as he waves his book.

At that moment several thoughts flash across Niles’ head. “That guy nearly ran me over.” “Because he was… reading?” “What a nerd.” “He has a cute smile though.” “I wouldn’t mind bumping into him again.” He figures he just might, he looks like a student. His bus arrives and he gets on, quickly forgetting the encounter.

* * *

First day of school is always kind of terrifying for Niles but he keeps quiet and scurries from one class to the next with pretty much no issue. He hopes Tuesday will be less hectic but he has to wake up earlier. His class starts an hour earlier but Niles like Classic Lit despite himself. He’s still one of the last ones to arrive but he finds a seat almost at the back that he likes. As he scans the room his eyes linger for an extra second on a familiar smile. It’s the nerdy orc that nearly ran him over the other day. Niles doesn’t mean to stare but he thinks the guy’s cute. He finds himself sketching the orc on the edges of his program. He tells himself the orc, Mr. Lumun, he learns, is just aesthetically pleasing and fun to draw. Plus today’s class they’re just doing an overview of the course so he doesn’t need to pay attention, really. 

The thing is, he doesn’t stop. He draws him again the next day, and the next, and then Friday. He doesn’t even notice until he’s going over his notes on Monday and the now familiar face is everywhere. Next to the date, just below the title, over Achilles’ cartoony body. His profile has a speech bubble, telling him the book they’re reading next is the trilogy of Oedipus Rex, there’s one that just a tusky smile but Niles knows all too well what the rest of the face is supposed to look like. He doesn’t even look at the rest of his notes.

When he arrives late to class the next day, Niles makes a note to not sketch the handsome orc on every single page, especially not more than once per page. ideally, not at all, but he knows that would be asking too much of himself. He’s mostly trying to save himself the embarrassment, should someone ask to borrow or sneak a peek at his notes someday. In an effort to keep the handsome man out of his notes, though, he starts doing whole pages of orc studies in the back of his notebook. He’s technically not breaking the rules because now the drawings are not mixed with his notes, but he knows it’s cheating because now he’s doing more complicated pictures. There’s expressions, poses, movement, everything he needs to practice anyways, except using only the orc as a model. However most of it is smiles and eyes and one whole page became the entire scene of the orc stumbling away from the bus stop and waving his book in the air as he yells out “sorry!” not really looking at anyone. He drew that one when the professor started rambling about Icarus. They’re not even working with Icarus’s myth, Niles isn’t sure how Professor Poole got there.

Two weeks later his sketches and doodles are still not under control in any way and when Niles is thinking he should rename the notebook from “Classical Literature” to “Studies on Mr: Lumun” he realizes that he doesn’t actually know the guy’s name. He makes a point to find out before he starts calling him Achilles, Odysseus, or worse; Apollo. Unfortunately, Mr. Lumun doesn’t raise his hand that day. Niles leaves the classroom with the question burning at the back of his mind but he can’t think of a way to ask him his name now, almost a month into the semester, it feels rude, and Niles doesn’t actually have a reason to talk to the guy. He briefly wonders if the professor will ever make them work in pairs or in teams. He banishes the thought when Abigail snaps her fingers in his face. He hasn’t told her anything, but knows she can tell something is up. She’s always known when to push and when to let Niles go to her. He gives himself that week to find out the guy’s name, and maybe ask him out. If he’s still at an impasse by the end of the week he’ll ask for her advice.

Niles is uncharacteristically early for class the next day. He takes his usual seat and sips on his Monster-addled coffee as he watches the room fill up. Class starts and the familiar face from his sketches is nowhere in the room. Niles pretends he doesn’t notice and tries to pay attention, opening his notebook to a new page and writing down the date. Someone arrives late and sits next to him, when he turns to give them a polite smile and a nod his breath catches. It’s him. The orc he’s been doodling over the last 23 days is sitting next to him. Niles turns so fast he feels his neck strain. He feels every muscle in his body tense up. He checks his notebook to make sure there are no drawings in sight and when he looks up to read the slides the professor is showing, he’s focusing so hard he might develop x-ray vision. He’s frozen in place for the whole lecture. Too aware of the man next to him to really process what he’s writing down. As class draws to an end, he closes his notebook and leaves it on the desk. He stands up to throw away the empty energy drink on which he blames his uneasiness, and goes back to his seat to put the rest of his stuff away. 

Except the notebook is not there. 

He checks his backpack to see if he maybe put it away earlier without realizing. It’s not there. Niles can see the orc leaving the classroom, he’s zipping up his backpack as he walks hurriedly out into the hallway. A terrifying thought crosses Niles’s head: _ his notebook may have gotten mixed up with the orc’s things. _ The tiefling wants to disappear from the surface of the Earth. He begs to at least five gods. None of them reply. 

The rest of his day goes by in a haze. He can’t focus on anything. He goes to class, but can’t stop thinking about the orc opening his notebook. He doesn’t know what to do. If only there was a way to stop the guy from finding out he took his notebook. If he could steal it back, Mr. Lumun would never have to see the embarrassing results of Niles’s feelings and Poole’s rants.

In the afternoon he finds himself sitting near the fountain of the main square and sees the orc go by. _ Maybe he can steal the notebook back and prevent the worst from happening. _ Before he can stop himself he’s following as inconspicuously as he can. He soon realizes they're headed for the bus stop and relaxes a little bit. He goes into a nearby coffee shop and grabs a coffee before joining the rest of the students who are waiting. He’s glad when he sees several students pile into the same bus as the orc. He takes a seat at the back of the bus, takes out his mp3 player, and tries to use the music to ground himself. He rummages through his backpack, pretending to be looking for something, but he’s actually making sure he has his lockpicks with him. He never takes them out of the bag, so they’re there. He dismisses the part of his brain that tells him he’s insane.

He thinks he does a good job of following the guy to his apartment building. He has no idea how any of this will be useful but he at least feels like he’s doing something. He watches from across the street as the orc walks up several flights of stairs and goes through a door. He makes a mental note of the floor and the door and walks away to explore the neighborhood. He comes back about an hour later, this time with a plan. A mad plan, but a plan nonetheless. Abigail would kill him if she found out, but what she doesn’t know will not hurt her. 

He makes his way back to the apartment building, checking for lights in Mr. Lumun’s apartment, but they’re off. Niles decides to give him another hour to make sure he’s asleep so he goes to buy a sandwich and calmly eats it as he brews a clearer plan. An hour later he’s entering the apartment building, making his way to the third floor and standing in front of his classmate’s door. He takes a quick glance around to make sure no one has appeared in the hallway and then takes out his set of lockpicks and starts working the lock. The door opens, he lets himself in quietly as he can manage. He closes the door behind himself and takes off his shoes to avoid having them squeak unnecessarily and wake the orc. 

He manages to sneak around the apartment and find that the backpack is in the bedroom, just three feet from the bed. Niles curses under his breath, pauses for a moment to collect himself and then, as quietly as he can, walks the ten feet to pick up the backpack and come back out to the living area. He forgets to follow the same route out as he did going in, and his toe catches the corner of something sharp. Niles hisses at the dark as he stumbles and catches himself. Then he’s quiet for what feels like an eternity. He made a series of noises one after the other and he’s praying to at least five different gods that he’s a heavy sleeper. When, after what feels like a handful of eternities, he can’t hear the orc stirring awake, he takes a few careful steps and places the backpack down. He feels around to catch the treacherous object that almost gave him away and finds that it’s a thick book. He curses it silently and places it back down, closer to a wall so he won’t run into it again. He hopes that a college student that left it on the floor won’t notice it moved come the morning. The backpack’s zipper is thunderous against the quiet of night. He manages to pull a notebook out and squints at it in the dark to try and read the cover for his own name. 

The light flickers on and he can finally read 

_ Solus Lumun  
__World History I _

He freezes. 

How can anyone be so quiet? How long has he been awake? How is Niles going to explain this?

The orc crouches next to him, searching the contents of his backpack. He pulls out an identical notebook except this one reads “Classical Literature” and “Niles Dayla”. He extends it toward Niles and takes the other, carefully putting it back inside the backpack.

“I was going to give it back tomorrow, you know?” The orc, _Solus_, says calmly. 

Niles is having trouble processing everything happening at the moment, he can only hear the blood rushing past his ears. He stares, dumbfounded at the calm demeanor of the orc while his mind rapid fires thousands of questions: _ is he going to call the police? did he look inside the notebook? do i run? do i stay? what do i say? _ Solus just gives him a soft smile as he waits for him to finish processing. He stands back up and pats Niles on the back, before walking to the kitchen. Niles hears another switch flip and that snaps him out of it. He stands up, clutching his own notebook tightly to his chest. Sol has taken out two glasses and is pouring water into them. He notices Niles standing up.

“I’m sorry, I took it when I left for History. I was a mess the whole morning, I didn’t mean to… But then again, you didn’t have to break into my place to steal it back. We have class tomorrow, Niles.” He offers him one of the glasses and takes a sip from his own. 

The casual tone and use of his name, as if they’ve known each other for longer than the two minutes the orc has been awake by someone breaking into his place, are unsettling for Niles. He doesn’t take the water, and he’s now walking slowly, backwards, to where his shoes are by the door, still clutching his notebook. He doesn’t dare take his eyes off Solus. He’s unexpected. Unpredictable.

“You don’t have to worry, I won’t call the police. You don’t have to go if you don’t have a place to stay, I know you weren’t actually stealing from me.” Niles doesn’t want to let his guard down around this guy, but it feels as if Solus knows just what to say or do. He finally feels a shoe bump his heel and he slips them on, not even worrying about them being on properly. Solus sees this, gives him another soft, sleepy smile and says “Thank you, by the way.” 

That makes the tiefling stop in his tracks. 

He still can’t trust his mouth to make sentences but he tilts his head to one side and can’t stop the “Oh?” that comes out.

“I really like the way you draw my smile. Most people would focus on the tusks too much and it’s kind of weird. But you don’t. I like it.” He smiles and finishes his glass of water. 

Niles didn’t hear much after the first sentence. He doesn’t think he did. The blood pumping in his ears is deafening. He feels like he’s choking or drowning or both. He tells himself the orc didn’t actually say anything and it’s all an illusion caused by what is probably unhealthy amounts of adrenaline and caffeine running through his veins.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” the orc continues, throwing a hand up as if trying to calm Niles. “It just looks exactly like my history notebook and I opened it before I even noticed it wasn’t mine. Are you an art major?”

The hypothetical camel’s back breaks.

“Sorry” comes out Niles’ strained voice. Deeper and dryer than he expected it to be. He opens the door and walks out, still clutching his notebook as if he was trying to fuse it to his own chest. He walks out the apartment building, fixes his shoes and takes off running. 


	2. Face The Music

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Niles gets back from the wildest sober night of his life and then gets drunk talking about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hewwo! Alright drinking age is 18 bc im mexican and u can't stop me. College kids need to drink. Also, meet Abigail the sweetest bean wow I love her. <3
> 
> We get a longer chapter today bc Niles and co. just can't shut up.

The world passes Niles by in a haze. He’s not sure if he’s crying or if the light drizzle that’s started falling has gotten into his eyes. He doesn’t even know where he’s going until there’s a door closing behind him.

He takes his usual seat, and takes the time to take a few deep breaths before looking around him. It seems he brought himself to Mel’s. The café is only a few steps from the bus stop so it makes sense. It’s a familiar place closer than home. Neutral ground where he can stop and breathe for a moment. Thankfully, as one of the caffeine establishments closest to the university, it’s open 24/7. 

The warm yellow light and the hard, wooden table he’s sitting at are comforting. Steady. He traces his fingers over the grooves in the wood until Aiden, the night shift barista, comes over with a hot mug of tea he never ordered. He says something nodding at the clock on the wall and squeezes Niles’s shoulder. Niles smiles and thanks him for the tea. He nurses the mug for a few moments, watching as the vapor goes up and disappears into thin air. When he finally takes a sip it’s scalding and sweet. It doesn’t burn him and he wonders for a moment if it is because he’s used to it or because the blood running through him, keeping him warm all the time, is still hotter than the drink. 

His eyes come to rest on the notebook he left on the table. He realizes then that Aiden had said it was late for studying. Niles lets out a small chuckle. He can’t believe any of today actually happened. He can’t believe it’s been less than 24 hours since he went to class this morning.

He finishes his tea, pays for it, and promises the barista to go right to sleep. It’s close to midnight. He dreams about the sleepy face Solus wore as he sipped his water. He’s unsure of how he feels about it when he wakes up but ultimately decides to skip Classical Literature just for today. He convinces Abigail to have brunch with him back at Mel’s. 

Mel is working the morning shift. He comes over to greet them and serve them energy drink-free coffee. Niles scrunches his nose when he drinks it. Not enough caffeine, not enough sugar. 

“Hey, Niles, everything alright?” Mel asks.

“Yeah, why?”

“Aiden said you were here late last night looking a little lost.”

“Ah,” he laughs nervously. “Yeah, uh, no, I’m fine. Thanks, Mel.”

“If anything is the matter, you know we got your back, right?” He says, patting Niles’s shoulder and giving him a warm smile before walking away.

Abigail gives him an inquisitive look and Niles knows he can’t lie his way out of this one. After all they came here so he could tell her everything, didn’t they?

“Gail, look. First and foremost, I’m sorry.” Abigail gives him one of her ‘that’s not reassuring at all’ looks. “I did wish you had been there to stop me. Briefly.”  
“Niles Dayla get to the point. What did you do?” She hasn’t touched her coffee. Niles doesn’t know if that would soften her or make it worse, so he doesn’t mention it.

He instead takes out his notebook, placing it on the table. He doesn’t dare show her the drawings yet. He tells her about the first time he saw Solus, and then about seeing him again in class. He explains how he had tried to not draw him as much, at which she just cackles.

“You are crushing hard, huh?” she says as she squeezes his hand from across the table. Niles blushes and tries to hush her unsuccessfully.

He continues his story telling her about how he sat right next to him. Abigail gasps loudly and he quietly thanks a random god that she is his friend. He really doesn’t know and doesn’t want to find out what he would do without her.

She’s disappointed to hear he didn’t talk to him during class but Niles explains he was so worried he might turn a page and there would be a doodle or a sketch or worse an elaborate drawing of the orc that he couldn’t really do much. She laughs at that.

“Now, towards the end of the class, I stood up to throw away my empty can of monster, yeah?”

“As one does.”

“And when I come back he’s gone.”

“Aw, no,” she looks genuinely disappointed.

“And so is my notebook.”

“Oh, no!! No way, Mr Lumun why did you take my boy’s notebook? Oh, lord. Do you think he saw it while you stood up?” Then her eyes travel back down to where Niles is nervously tapping his fingers. “Okay, Niles wait. It’s this notebook right? You have it with you...Niles Dayla what happened next? what did you do?”

“Yeah, yeah, okay. I’m gonna need a beer for this one,” he says, standing up.

“It’s ten A.M., Niles.”

“Don’t care. Getting you one as well.”

Niles comes back with two beers and takes a swig before telling Abigail the rest of his story.

“Niles Dayla, did you stalk this innocent orc?”

“It’s not like that! I needed to get my notebook back!”

“Uh-huh”

It takes two beers to tell her about the breaking in, about the traitorous book that gave him away and about Solus’ calm demeanor. By the second one Niles lets Abigail take his notebook and flip through it. He looks away until she speaks.

“See, I’ve known you since you first conceived the idea of learning to pick locks to impress cute boys, which is why I’m not surprised that you broke in. But I gotta give it to this dude, man, he poured you a glass of water? He’s perfect.”

Niles hums. “That’s not all, Gail.” She raises her brows in response. “He said he…” 

“Niles,” she interrupts quietly, still carefully looking through the notebook. “Do you think he saw these? Is that why he didn’t call the police?”

All of a sudden Niles is back in the lit up room. He can see Solus, leaning on the kitchen counter sipping on his water. His smile was barely there but it was soft, and it exuded an overwhelming, calming energy that kept Niles from running off for at least two minutes. Or, in Niles’s book, one whole eternity.

“He said he liked the way I draw his smile, Gail,” he says, also lowering his voice and leaning in. He drops his head to rest on his arm and then hides his face in the crook of his elbow. Abigail sounds about as shocked as he felt.

“No way! Oh, Niles that’s great news. I’m sure he likes you as well. Come on, get up from there. Your notebook did all the hard work for you.”

Niles looks up at her. “Abigail. How am I supposed to even look at him anymore?”

“Oh, come on, now all you have to do is ask him to go out with you. If he didn’t like you back he would’ve called the police. But he didn’t, he offered you a glass of water.”

Niles sits up straight and looks out the window at the people walking by in raincoats and umbrellas. “I think your logic is flawed.” She scoffs. “But he did say I didn’t have to leave if I didn’t have a place to stay.”

Abigail’s eyebrows shoot up once more, a suggestive grin grows on her lips. 

“Stop that.”

“I- what?” she feigns innocence and Niles would believe her if he didn’t know better.

“You know what.”

“Whatever. My point stands. I won’t let you skip class again.”

“Fuck you.”

She sticks her tongue out playfully. “I guess you were right about lockpicking getting you to cute boys. Not how I expected it to happen but hey, if it works, it works. Maybe you should teach me.”

Niles groans and pretends to be busy downing his bitter coffee.

* * *

The world doesn’t end, and Thursday morning comes, forcing Niles to go back to Classical Literature class. He tells himself it’s not too late to drop the class. He’s got two more weeks to do the paperwork. He knows, however, that Abigail would find out eventually and scold him for it. He decides to wait before he makes a decision, ponder if he would rather have his best friend’s ire or enduring seeing Solus four days a week. He promised Gail he would at least go to the rest of his classes for the week.

He doesn’t draw Solus that day. Who would’ve known the antidote this whole time was to show his subject his drawings. Class goes by without an incident and Niles calmly packs up his things so he can go get lunch before his next class. His back is to the front of the classroom so he doesn’t pick out the set of footsteps that are approaching him instead of the back door. The hand on his shoulder startles him, making him jump and drop his notebook.

“Oh, sorry I didn’t mean to scare you,” the orc says, already crouching and handing him his notebook. Niles’ blood runs cold. He’s frozen in place again. He doesn't like to think about the fact that this is the second time this has happened around this person. He doesn't know what to say so he just stares at Solus in disbelief. 

“I’m… I, well… You ran away so fast on Tuesday and you didn’t come to class yesterday. I was a bit worried so I guess I’m just checking in with you? Is everything okay, Niles? Can I call you Niles?”

Niles stares at him for a few seconds longer, as if that would do anything to help him figure out the orc. “I’m okay,” he finally says, putting the notebook back in his bag.

“Well, that’s good to-” 

“Sol! You coming?” A voice calls from the door. Niles can’t see them because the light is right behind them. He takes that chance to put the bag over his shoulder and nod at Solus. The orc looks...disappointed? He probably wanted to say something else but he follows after the person that called him without another word. 

Niles makes his way to the cafeteria next to the natural sciences building where Abigail is already waiting. When he sits down she lets him know food is on its way before asking how class went.

“It was okay. Same as usual, really. Managed not to draw the guy whose house i broke into.”

“Oh, no. Niles, I’m sorry,” she says reaching across the table to take his hand, brows furrowed. 

“What?”

“Babe, you only stop drawing when you’re upset.”

“That’s not true,” he says defensively.

“You know it is. Did you try talking to the guy?”

“No, Gail, of course I didn’t.”

“What? Why?”

“What am i supposed to say? ‘Oh hey, I’m the one that’s been drawing you like a creep and then followed you and broke into your house like a STALKER but I only did all of that because I might have a crush on you.’ I’m sure that would go phenomenal.”

“You’re being dramatic, again.”

“Abigail.”

“Yes?”

“That’s exactly how it happened.”

“Yeah well,” she looks past his shoulder for a moment. “He still invited you to stay over, didn’t he’”

“Gods, I don’t know why he did that. He asked if i was okay today, too. He’s too good for me.”

“Excuse me, he what?”

“Fuck, he just,” Niles lets out a big sigh and lets his head fall forward, catching it by the horns. “He said he was worried when I ran off and didn’t show up to class the next day.”

Abigail lets out a giggle that turns into a full laugh and she throws her head back as she holds her belly.

“Gail, what the hell?”

“Niles, why are you having lunch with _ me _instead of him right now?”

“Sorry, what?”

“Oh gods, you need to ask him out before he thinks you’re not interested because you keep running off.”

“You need to finish your salad and stop talking nonsense. I think you’re still drunk.”

* * *

Friday’s class is only jarring for the four minutes Niles is there before class starts. As soon as Professor Poole starts class, the tiefling forgets about his emotional worries and instead focuses on those of Achilles as he mourns Patroclus.

He’s the third person to leave the classroom when the professor dismisses class. He doesn’t think about it for the rest of the day or the weekend. His Monday classes almost make him forget everything but Tuesday comes again before he can think about what happened last week or any of what Abigail said. He’s not very successful in his reading, but everyone knows the Iliad so he’s not too worried about the actual contents of class.

He oversleeps on purpose but still rushes to class and is only two minutes late. When class is over he pretends to be in a rush again but he doesn’t actually have class for another half hour. By the next day he’s trying to go back to normal, pretend none of last week ever happened and move on.

He hasn’t drawn anything that wasn’t an assignment in almost a week.

His mistake is not to scan the classroom when he comes in and just going straight for his usual seat. Class starts a few minutes later and as Mr. Poole is done greeting the students he sees the shadow of someone plop down on the seat next to him. He doesn’t need to turn to know who it is, but he does anyway and Solus’ face is smiling in his direction and mouthing a ‘hey’. Niles tilts his head like a curious puppy because he really doesn’t understand this guy but the teacher’s voice quickly pulls him away from the orc. None of them say anything for ten minutes but when Niles is about to forget who’s next to him, a piece of paper folded in half appears next to where he is currently taking notes. He takes it, giving the orc another curious look, to which he responds with a simple half smile and a shrug. 

_ I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I didn’t know about your girlfriend. Are you sure you’re okay? _

Niles reads the note once, twice, three, four times and can’t figure this guy out. He finally decides to answer. 

_ I told you I’m fine. I should be the one apologizing. I think you have the wrong person, though. I don’t have a girlfriend? _

He can hear an almost inaudible ‘oh’ escape the orc when he reads his reply. Niles feels lightheaded, he’s stopped listening to whatever is going on in class. His mind is going a mile a minute trying to figure out what the other guy is apologizing for. Why he thinks he might have made Niles uncomfortable when he’s the one that’s been drawing him, followed him and snuck into his apartment at night.

_ Well, I just wanted to say sorry, regardless. Doubly sorry that i had to do it on a piece of paper in the middle of class but you’re a sneaky one, Mr. Dayla. _

Has he been trying to apologize all week? Niles guesses he had been extra careful to only come in and out of class with no extra time to get caught in conversations of any kind.

_ Why are you sorry???? _

He’s worried his reply might come off as rude but he really doesn’t understand. While he waits for the orc to reply he doodles Achilles on the corner of his notebook. He tries to ignore Abigail’s voice in his head. 

_ I shouldn’t have taken your notebook, much less gone through it as thoroughly as I did. I should’ve stopped when I realized it wasn’t mine. And, from the way you ran away last week I probably said something inappropriate. Yes, you broke into my apartment _ then there’s some text that’s been crossed over, leaving it unreadable before it continues _ but I understand you were trying to prevent me seeing your drawings. I guess it _ ** _is _ ** _ weird that you’re the one that broke in and I’m trying to apologize, it’s just that when you didn’t come to class the next day I thought it was my fault. I thought you’d drop out of Poole’s class. _

There is more of the note that has been scratched out at the end. Except Niles can’t care about that because he just read that the orc went through his notebook _ thoroughly _ as if he needed anything more to give him bad anxiety dreams. Mostly, though, he’s surprised at how well Solus read him. He can’t think of anything inappropriate he might have said but he _ was _ trying to keep him away from his drawings and he can’t deny he thought of dropping out of the class. However his eyes and his mind keep going back to “much less gone through it as thoroughly as I did.” He can feel his face start to burn and he thanks a thousand deities that his skin is already deep red so his blush is hard to detect. 

He doesn’t know how to reply. They’re not friends so he doesn’t feel like he should admit that he didn’t want to see him the next day or that he almost gave up classical literature. Should he explain or try to justify why he’d been drawing him? Should he just accept the apology and take the chance to apologize himself? 

As he thinks it over, he keeps drawing Achilles and he catches himself when he starts doing tusks on his face. He quickly erases the head and hopes the man sitting next to him didn’t notice. 

_ You have nothing to apologize for. I did all of it to myself. I’m _ ** _so _ ** _ sorry for everything. The drawings, following you, breaking in. You should be mad at me. _

The next response comes a lot quicker.

_ I’m not mad, I’m flattered. I meant it when I said I liked them, and not just because they’re of me. You’re good, Niles. _

Niles is looking straight ahead but he can see the tusky smile he’s drawn dozens of times in his peripheral. He thinks about a way to express his confusion in his reply. He wants to ask the orc a million questions but he settles on one.

_ Who are you, dude? _

_ Solus Lumun, but you can call me Sol :) _

Niles snorts at the reply, and decides to let the conversation end there. He finishes his definitely-not-Sol Achilles as he tunes back into Mr. Poole’s voice who is now going on about Cassandra. He smiles to himself and starts to draw her. 

Almost out of habit Niles quickly puts his stuff away as soon as class is over. He’s already walking away when he hears Sol say his name and he freezes in place. He turns to face him and the orc looks almost hurt for a split second. 

“Sorry, it was nothing. You probably have class I don’t mean to hold you back. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He waves a dismissive hand and goes to zip up his backpack. Niles walks back over and when the orc looks back up he tells him he has time before his next class. 

“Oh, well it was silly, really. You never did answer my question.” Sol throws his backpack over his shoulder and Niles tilts his head, mentally going through the notes they exchanged earlier. “Are you an art major?”

“Ah, that. Yes. Technically I’m majoring in sculpture but I do have to draw a lot.”

Sol hums, nodding his head. They walk out the door, and to a nearby building where Sol’s history class is about to start. Niles doesn’t want to remember why he knows that. He wants to believe he can maybe be friends with this guy and forget all about drawing him like he has a gigantic crush on him. They say goodbye before Sol goes inside the building. Niles thinks he looked like he wanted to say something more but he doesn’t really know they guy so he dismisses it. He thinks of finding Abigail but remembers she won’t be out of class for several hours. He goes off to get lunch by himself.

* * *

He’s early to class the next day. Not earlier than Sol, though. When Niles walks in he’s surprised to find the orc in the seat he took the day before instead of his usual seat, with the people he had assumed were the man’s friends. He sits next to him, telling the butterflies in his stomach that they need to go away.

Niles is greeted with a warm smile and a warmer “good morning” which he reciprocates with a soft grunt. He places his bag on the floor and sits down. 

“I got you a peace offering,” he hears the orc say. He sighs and turns to look at him but finds a can of _ Monster _ in the way. He lets out a little chuckle and takes it after thanking him. He proceeds to pour it into his thermos as Sol keeps talking. “I know you think it’s the other way around, and I will have to think of a way you can make it up to me, but for now… well, just drink your terrible concoction.”

Niles smiles and tips his thermos towards him “Wanna give it a try?”

“Gods, no.”

“Your loss,” he shrugs and takes a long swig. “Does this mean I owe _ you _ a peace offering?”

Sol hums in response. “You _ did _break into my apartment, it’s only fair.”

“Yeah, alright. What can I do for you, Mr. Lumun? Clean your apartment? Do your laundry? Something worse or more embarrassing?”

Sol raises an eyebrow at the name, but doesn’t comment on it. “I was actually thinking you could be my partner for our midterm presentations.” Niles tries his best to not choke after he hears the word partner. The blush that was starting to creep up his face, however, is quickly substituted by a cold sweat. 

“Wait, what? I thought Professor Poole would give us a heads up two or three weeks before that?”

“He did. You weren’t here for it. Most people already have a partner. I thought you might not.”

“Dude, I didn’t even know! How much time do we have? What are we supposed to talk about?”

“Hey, it’s okay. I looked through your notes, you’ll do fine. We have until tomorrow to come up with a proposal, but we should be the first ones to call it before someone else gets dibs.”

Niles tries not to think about how he casually mentioned going through his notes. They haven’t actually talked about what he most definitely saw in there since… When he stops to think about it, Sol hasn’t mentioned it since he ran out the door _ that _night. Was he purposefully avoiding the subject?

“Okay, sure,” he says, waving his thoughts away with a hand. “Do you have any ideas? Should we uh, meet after class or something?”

“Not really, I was worried you wouldn’t want to partner up with me and haven’t moved on to the next stage in planning.” Niles tries to conceal the smile that he can feel pulling at his cheeks. The more time he spends with the orc, the more endearing he finds him. And the harder it is to get over him. 

A flash of one of his sketchbooks appears behind his eyelids when he blinks, and it’s full of shots of the orc. Him looking forward, brows furrowed. Wearing glasses and reading. Smiling so brightly his eyes are closed. Niles takes a sip of his corrupted coffee and blames his racing heart on the caffeine. Sol is looking at him questioningly, but doesn’t voice his concerns.

The orc continues, “But yeah, getting together is a good idea. When are you free? I don’t actually have class after this but I’m also free after five any day.”

“Ah, well I don’t have class right now either, but I have a, uh, permanent lunch date and she would kill me if I showed up just to cancel, you know?”

Sol nods, understanding.

“I can make today or tomorrow after five, though. Where do you wanna meet?”

“Well, I was thinking my place. You already know where it is, and if we need to do some research, the public library’s not too far.”

Niles has to stop to wonder if the guy is just playing with him or if he’s seriously this chill about him breaking in not a full week ago. He coughs a little bit but ends up agreeing to meeting in Sol’s apartment. Sol writes it down on his agenda and Niles’s heart melts a little because this guy just keeps getting more adorable. He mentally slaps himself and turns to face the front of the room just as Professor Poole walks in. He thanks the ‘god of timing’ silently. He doesn’t even know if such a god exists.

* * *

“I can’t believe it worked, Niles. You broke into this guy’s apartment and he’s just...inviting you over? Giving you your terrible drink in the morning? How is he already in love with you? Is this what love at first sight means? Where can I find someone like this?” 

“Gail, please, stop. The guy is adorable and I need to get over him before I do something stupid. He’s so sweet he probably has no idea what he’s doing to me. Plus, he thinks I’m straight, he mentioned something about me having a girlfriend? I told him I don’t have one but I didn’t tell him I’m gay, I don’t even know why.”

“Babe, you’re ranting again. I’m pretty sure he likes you and would be thrilled to find out it’s mutual. I don’t think it will be that hard to tell him if he’s already gone through your notebook, though. I looked at it for ten seconds and your love or crush or whatever you wanna call it just radiates from every page.”

Niles blushes at the last comment but knows better than trying to deny it. The rest he ignores. There’s no way Sol could have any sort of romantic feelings after seeing the notebook. It’s already a miracle that he wants to work together or even be friends. It would take a whole god to make him reciprocate Niles’s feelings, though.

“I’m… who do you think I am? I’m not doing a whole embarrassing love confession.” Abigail almost spits her drink but manages to finish swallowing before laughing loudly. 

“Niles, please. You said he thought you were straight but you can tell him you’re gay and maybe gauge his reaction? For me?”

“Nu-uh”

“You’re no fun. _ That’s _why you’re single. You gotta take some risks! Be vulnerable, jump off a cliff!”

“I’m not sure you’re making the point you think you’re trying to make.”

“Whatever, you know what I mean. Thank you for not cancelling lunch, by the way. I would’ve killed you.”

“I know. I also need to draw you.”

“Oh really? why?”

“We got portrait assignments. I have to do two people or one person in two different lightings.”

Abigail raises an eyebrow and smirks. “And which one did you pick?”

“I’m drawing you right now, and again later tonight or tomorrow.”

“You should draw him.”

“Abigail, I swear to all hell.”

Abigail’s smirk doesn’t drop. “Just ask him. When is this due?”

“Monday. I’m not asking him shit.”

“Yes, you are.”

“I’m leaving. Right now.” He deadpans, but both of them know it’s an empty threat. 

“Aw, come on. I just want you to be happy and in love.”

“I’m not doing it, Gail. Now let me get my sketchbook so I can get the first one done before tomorrow.”


	3. Would You Walk In?

It’s 5p.m.and Niles is standing outside sol’s door. He debates for several minutes whether he should knock or run back to his own place and never see the orc again. Pack his bags, move to a different city, start a new life, ask Abigail to take care of whatever he left behind. He knocks instead. There’s some shuffling before the door opens. Sol greets him with one of those warm smiles and lets him in. Niles struggles to tell his brain that’s just a normal smile he gives everyone.

“Welcome to my humble abode,” Sol says as he makes an exaggerated bow. Niles snorts and walks in. It’s different this time. He’s walking in during the day, with the lights on and he takes a moment to look around the place. He’s surprised to find that there’s little to no furniture. There are several piles of books, not on a bookshelf, but all over the floor and taking up every inch of the only couch. The coffee table is relatively clear, it looks like it’s currently holding a whole investigation’s worth of papers and notes. There’s a small table and a single chair in the kitchen but that’s really all there is.

“Dude,” he says, suddenly concerned. “Where’s all your furniture?”

“Ah, you see,” Sol says with a smug look on his face. “Someone broke in a few days ago and well... you know how it is.” He shrugs and chuckles.

“I’m serious,” Niles says through his own chuckle. “You live like this?” He gestures at the couch, hoping the orc won’t be offended.

“I don’t really need much,” Sol explains, his calm demeanor still taking Niles by surprise. “I only ever come here to sleep and have breakfast. Sometimes dinner.”

Niles looks around, as if he were trying to find where Sol is hiding all his furniture. He stops for a moment to try and remember if this is what it looked like the night he broke in but he quickly pushes all thoughts of that night to the back of his mind. Better forget that ever happened.

“So, uh, do we sit on the floor? I wouldn’t want to sit on your books, to be honest.”

Sol chuckles. “Well, thank you for that. The books and I appreciate it.” Niles rolls his eyes at that. “Actually, we could work in the kitchen? I only have one chair but I can sit on the counter or the floor. Or,” he continues, looking at Niles like he’s studying him which makes him turn away to pretend he’s looking out the window. “We could work in the bedroom, the bed is pretty big and I like to spread out my notes and papers and whatnot. Up to you.”

Niles has to focus on his breathing while the orc talks. He tries not to think of the two of them on the orcs bed, doing things that cannot count as working on their project. He stops himself before his blush actually turns him several shades darker. He doesn’t know how long he was caught in his own thoughts, but he hope’s it wasn’t much. The orc is still looking at him expectantly so he hums pretending he actually needs to think about such a serious choice.

“The kitchen sounds nice, we’d be right next to the snacks. If you even have any of those. And you can take the chair, I actually feel more comfortable sitting on the counter, or anywhere, really.” When Sol gives him a curious look, he elaborates. “I’m not big on chairs, or anything that’s designed for people to sit on.”

Sol laughs harder at that, throwing his head back but he agrees and they sit down after he fetches a bag of chips and two glasses of water. He grabs his notebook from one of the piles of books before sitting down at the table. Niles props his backpack on the table and rummages for his notebook. He takes out a few folders so he can later see which one has class handouts and notes, but when he puts them on the table the orc reaches for them and flips one open. The portrait of Abigail he did that morning is the first thing in there. Niles stops going through his backpack to watch the orc. His heart feels like it’s going a mile a minute and he feels like he’s forgotten how to breathe. He knows, in theory, that Sol has seen his art before, but he’s never seen him see it. It’s nerve-wracking. Sol looks at the drawing for a long moment. One of his hands goes over the paper but stops before touching it.

“I’m sorry,” he says. The folder snaps shut at the same time Sol’s head snaps up. “I shouldn’t... I- I should stop going through your stuff, huh?” he laughs nervously, scratching at the back of his neck. Niles takes it all in.

“I-It’s fine. I’m sorry, that’s my homework, not really useful right now.” He reaches over to take the folder.

“Homework?” he says, sounding surprised.

“Yeah, we’re supposed to practice lighting? I did this one in the morning so I have to do the other one later tonight or in a different place or with someone else. As long as the light hits differently, you know?”

Sol hums in understanding. “She’s pretty,” he says before asking “Is she always your model?” and resting his elbows on the table and his head on his hands. Niles wishes he could draw him like that. He keeps hoping his emotions are not showing on his face, or that the orc at least doesn’t know him well enough to be able to read them accurately.

“Mhm, most of the time, yeah. It’s hard to find folks who will let you draw them and I’ve drawn Gail for so long she’s gotten used to standing still for longer than five minutes.And, you know, not everyone is comfortable with being stared at for long periods of time.” As soon as he finishes saying that he’s reminded that he’s stared at Sol for entire lectures. Several times. He wants to run away again, Abigail will forgive him someday.

“Ah, I see.”

“Anyways,” Niles says, putting the folder away. “Here’s the folder that we can actually use and my notes.” He pulls out his notebook and places it on top of the unopened folder. “Have you given any thought to what you would like to do?”

They talk about potential ideas for their presentation for a while. Eventually Niles gets tired of sitting on the counter and sits on the floor next to the orc, who doesn’t take long to ditch the chair and sit on the floor next to him. The tiefling postpones opening his notebook until it's absolutely necessary. But once they have settled on a subject and they have to go over details it can’t be helped. He tries to go flip through his notes nonchalantly but doesn’t feel very successful at it.

“Can I ask you something?” Sol asks.

Niles thinks he’s still talking about the presentation so he answers calmly. “Sure, what is it?”

“Why?”

“Why what? Why did she bury Polyneices? or why was that terrible crime punished with execution?” he says, gesturing dramatically.

“Why did you draw me?” Oh, that. Niles stops in his tracks. His arms drop from where they were suspended.

“Oh,” Niles thinks he feels his heart stopping. He knows the other man is looking at him, can feel his eyes burning into the side of his face, but he doesn’t dare look up from his notebook.

“And why did you stop after I saw them?”

It feels like he’s being accused of something, but Niles isn’t sure of what or what he should say to defend himself.

“I’m sorry,” is all he can manage.

“Why are you sorry?”

“Drawing you? Being a creep?” He has trouble even swallowing. He can hear the orc sighing but he’s still scared to look at him. What if he only invited him over to ridicule him and ask him to drop out and make sure he never has to see him again? What if there isn’t even a presentation to work on and Solus just wanted to get the notebook from Niles and get rid of it forever? His sight is starting to get shaky. He can’t hear or feel himself breathing. His eyes are open but suddenly he can’t see anything.

A heavy hand falls on his shoulder, startling him. “Hey, man, sorry.” Niles is sure there’s static coming out of the orc’s mouth. “Fuck, here, drink some water. We don’t-” more static. “...sorry. I know some people are private” is he still speaking? Are those tears he feels running down his face? “...and I shouldn’t” finally his ears are starting to work again. “I’m so sorry. Gods, I’m really sorry, Niles. Do you want me to go?”

It’s the question that finally makes Niles look at Sol. He can’t figure this guy out. Why is he the one apologising now? He didn’t hear half the stuff he was saying. He probably didn’t hear that right. He looks up at him, not bothering to wipe his face. He tilts his head sideways like maybe that’ll help read him better.

“What?” he manages.

“Do you want to be left alone or do you want me to stay here? I’ll be quiet.” Niles notices one of the orc’s hands leave his back, he doesn’t know when it got there in the first place. He tells himself he doesn’t miss it.

“I’m-” he takes a deep breath, looking at Sol straight in the eyes. “I don’t understand you,” he says out loud when he only meant to think it.

Sol stops in his tracks. “Well,” he says softly. “What do you want to know?”

Niles seems to recover immediately. He stands up at dizzying speed. Picks up his notebook and some scattered papers and starts stuffing it all into his bag saying it’s late and he shouldn’t overstay his welcome.

Sol tries to stop him. Tries to catch Niles’ arm as he says something about the next class or about finishing the project later, he’s not sure. And then he’s out the door and everything is in a haze until he steps off the bus two blocks away from home. He doesn’t have dinner, he has a quick shower and collapses on his bed.

* * *

Niles wakes up on Saturday wishing he hadn’t. He tries to forget about what happened and is successful for most of the weekend. He manages to get another portrait of Abigail done without actually telling her everything that happened on Friday. He goes to class on Monday and turns them in. Once he’s done with classes for the day he goes back to his room and tries not to think about what will happen when he has Classical Literature the next day. He tries to sleep it all off.

Morning comes eventually, and Niles feels like he has a personal grudge with whatever deity is in charge of making time pass because it most definitely should not be this time of the week again already. He’s not ready. He’s purposefully late to class. He hopes Sol will be in his usual seat or that if he isn’t that someone else will have taken Niles’s seat and he’ll just have to seat somewhere else and it won’t be obvious that he’s avoiding him.

No one has taken his seat. Because they’re a good month into the semester and everyone has found a spot they like. Apparently Sol’s is next to Niles’s. He holds his thermos tight as he silently walks to his seat. As he walks up to it, he can see Sol’s slumped shoulders. He takes note of this because he’s never seen him slumped. And he’s watched him a lot. He wonders if he’s sick. When Sol notices him he straightens up and offers a shy “good morning” almost as if he’s not sure he should be saying it. Class has already started so instead of saying it Niles just mouths it back and gives him a quick smile.

Niles takes his seat and leans down to take his notebook out of his bag. When he sits back up he finds a can of monster on his table. It has a post it note that just says “Sorry” stuck to it. Niles wants to smash his head on the nearest wall.

Before pouring the can into his thermos he opens his notebook to a random clean page and writes down:

Thank you. You didn’t have to.

He rips out the piece of paper and slides it to his classmate. There’s no response. He tries not to think about it but he keeps glancing to the side. Sol doesn’t look at him for the whole class. Niles tries to convince himself that he doesn’t care about that.

Professor Poole dismisses class with a reminder that presentations are the following week and Niles feels like throwing up then and there. He’s picking up his bag and heading to the door when a hand catches his arm.

It’s Sol. He looks surprised, looking at Niles and then at his hand grabbing Niles’s arm, then back at Niles. He drops his hand with an apologetic look on his face.

“Are you okay?” Niles says. This time it’s his turn to be surprised at himself.

“Huh? Uh, yeah. Sorry about...that. You can go. You have lunch, right? Don’t keep that pretty girl waiting.”

Niles is staring at him again. He knows. He can’t help it, he felt like he was starting to get this guy and now he’s a full mystery all over again.

“Do you want to come with? I mean, if you don’t have class right now?”

Sol stares at him blankly for what feels like an eternity. “Sure,” he finally says. Throwing his backpack over his shoulder.

They walk to the cafeteria together but in silence. Niles is trying to figure out why he did what he just did and why the orc accepted the invitation and what is he going to say to abigail and oh no she’s already sitting there waving in his direction, gods save them all.

Abigail stands up when she sees them approach.

“Hi!” she says as they approach. Niles ignores the glint in her eyes when she looks at him.

“Hey, Gail. Uh, this is Sol. Sol this is Abigail, she’s my best friend.” he introduces them.

Sol extends a hand which Abigail takes. “It’s so nice to meet you, Sol. Niles told me you’re working on a presentation together, right?”

“Uh, yeah. Nice to meet you too.”

“Oh, hold on. You’re gonna want to get something to eat. I ordered for me and Niles but I didn’t know you were coming.”

“Ah, don’t worry. I’ll be right back,” he says, dropping his backpack and walking away.

Abigail takes that chance to give Niles a meaningful look. Niles knows exactly what it means. It’s a thousand questions and two thousand insinuations.

“Are you gonna say anything at all?” she asks, leaning across the table.

“I don’t know how this happened, Gail. I don’t think I’ve been conscious for the last three or four days.”

“Well, Earth to Niles, your crush is having lunch with us?” she says the last part in what could qualify as a stage whisper which is still too loud for Niles’s liking. He stares daggers at her but before he can say anything he spots Sol already coming back.

She waits for Sol to sit down before asking. “So, are you two going to work on the presentation now? Should I leave you to it?”

“Oh, I- oh,” Sol seems to have been caught off guard so he just looks at Niles for confirmation.

“For now, we can just have lunch,” he says. “Can’t think on an empty stomach.”

Abigail hums in agreement and then turns back to Sol. “So, tell me about yourself, what are you majoring in?”

Sol still looks like a deer caught in headlights. This is starting to drive Niles mad. He’ll never figure this guy out. Nothing makes sense.

“I’m, uh, I’m in History.” He takes a deep breath and his shoulders seem to relax a little bit. “How about you?”

“Oh, I’m in Astronomy. Stars and all that.” Her cheerfulness is contagious and Sol’s shoulder drop another bit.

“Woah! Hey, I’ve always wondered: do they make you learn the names of constellations?” he asks. Niles can’t tell if he’s being sarcastic or genuinely curious. Abigail laughs.

“Not really. Not yet, anyway. I’ve got enough on my plate with all the phenomenons you know? Like when you’re a kid you think it’s only like eclipse and the phases of the moon, but there’s so much more beyond our planet…” she pauses and looks up at the sky, smiling. “Plus, there’s so much calculus, I barely have time to look up nowadays.”

“That sounds fascinating,” Sol says as one of the cafeteria staff brings over their food.

“Yeah, I think so too. This one, though,” she nods in Niles’s direction, “refuses to let me teach him about it. He’d rather make infinite sketches and then turn them into infinite sculptures, and none of them would be stars.” She lets out an exaggerated sigh. “Speaking of which, what did Toreil think of your sketches?” She asks, switching from feigned pain to genuine interest. Sol also turns to look at Niles.

“You know, she liked them. Said she wished I’d drawn two people instead of the same one twice but that it was well done.”

“I told you not to do me twice! You need new models.”

“Yeah but I can’t afford to pay someone to pose for me and I really don’t like stealth drawing. People deserve to know they’re being drawn. Otherwise it’s-” Niles cuts himself off. He doesn’t know how to end the sentence when he realizes the man seating next to him was unaware that he’d been drawing him for weeks. So instead he just takes a bite out of his sandwich and hopes someone else picks up the conversation.

Abigail, who knows him too well for his own good sneaks a look at Sol trying to assess his reaction. She doesn’t give Niles any signs that tell him what she’s thinking or if she even figured anything out. Sol doesn’t react, it’s as if he isn’t even listening.

“I can do it,” he says, surprising the best friends.

“Do what?” Abigail asks.

“Model. For Niles.”

Abigail almost chokes. Niles has to focus on chewing so his jaw doesn’t drop.

“What? Sol, you don’t have to. Please don’t.”

“Why not? I like your art. You need a model. You’ve done it before.”

“Y- Well, yeah. But never anything serious. I- Why?”

“Why what?

“Why would you want to model for me?”

“Why not?”

“That’s not what I asked.”

Sol just shrugs and goes back to his lunch.

“Anyways,” Abigail says after they’re both silent for a moment.

“Gail,” Niles interrupts her and shakes his head.

“Niles, don’t.” she retaliates.

“Gail,” he repeats.

“How long have you two known each other?” Sol asks, still not looking up from his plate.

The other two exchange a brief look before Niles answers. “About 15 years? Since kindergarten.”

“Sixteen,” Abigail corrects.

“That’s a long time.”

“Yeah, sometimes I’m surprised we’re still friends.” Abigail says, but her fond smile betrays her.

Sol looks between them. “I hope you don’t mind my asking but, why aren’t you dating?”

This makes Niles sputter his drink and Abigail throw her head back laughing. Her horns bump against the wall behind her but she doesn’t seem to care as she holds her shaking belly. She takes a few calming breaths but when she sees the confused look on Sol’s face she understands.

“Oh, you’re serious. I’m sorry, I just... “ she looks at Niles, who looks like he’s begging an underground deity to open a hole in the earth and take him. “I can’t be the one to tell you.”

Sol turns to Niles, questioning look on his face. Now more intrigued than before Abigail’s laughing fit.

Niles takes a grounding breath. He looks at Sol in the eyes. Another deep breath. This shouldn’t be so hard. Gail is here.

“I’m gay.”

It doesn’t feel like he was the one saying it. But he must have because Sol’s expression has changed, and now his eyes and mouth look completely round with surprise.

This is what Niles was scared of. He would’ve never said anything if Abigail wasn’t there acting as his support. She’s quietly studying the orc once again. Ready to jump in defense of his best friend at the first sign of danger. Sol just nods.

“Yeah, that’ll do it. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude in your lives like this. I- Thank you for trusting me, Niles.” He says, placing his hand over Niles’s. “I have class across campus in ten minutes, but if you wanna work on the presentation this evening, I’ll be home.” Then he stands up, picks up his backpack, his dirty plate and walks away.

They both watch him walk away in silence. It’s as if they are frozen for a few moments until Niles turns to abigail.

“He hates me,” he says, breaking the silence. “He knows now and he hates me. He couldn’t breathe the same air for another minute. He hates me, Gail. What am I going to do?” He doesn’t say this may make it easier to get over him.

“He can’t hate you.He just held your hand in his. And, if you ask me, he was looking at you most of the time even though I talked more than you did.”  
“Yeah well, then why did he walk away right after I said I’m gay?”  
“He said he’s got class on the other side of campus. It was just bad timing, Niles.”  
“Like I’m supposed to believe that when he was sitting so comfortably when he asked why we’re not dating. This is messed up, Gail. I still have to work on the presentation with him.”

“Hey, Niles?” she says, and her tone of voice is firm, like she’s about to scold him but he knows it just means she’s being honest with him. “He offered to be your model. There’s not way in hell he hates you. Plus, you’re going to his place later today, you could talk to him about it then.”

Niles scoffs and turns to where the orc disappeared just a few minutes earlier. He hopes she’s right.

Abigail decides against pushing it, so they pick up their plates, say their goodbyes and part ways to their respective classes just a few minutes later.

* * *

Niles is nervous the whole bus ride to Sol’s. He cracks his knuckles, wrings his hands, chews on his cheeks, bounces his leg. He ends up standing outside the door again, trying to gather enough courage to knock rather than run away.

He takes a deep breath and knocks with his eyes closed. Too late now. He’s sealed his own fate. Signed his contract, he thinks. Sol opens the door and he looks almost exactly as he did on Friday, and very different from this morning. Maybe he doesn’t actually hate me, Niles allows himself the thought as he’s welcomed into the apartment once more.

They take the same positions in the kitchen and get to work almost immediately, barely exchanging courtesies. They work for just a little over an hour before they decide a break is necessary so they can clear their heads and stretch.

“Hey, Niles?”

“Hm?”

“I’m sorry about this morning”

Niles tilts his head to one side. “What do you mean?”

“I shouldn’t have pried into your lives like I did. You and Abigail’s, your relationship is yours and none of my business. You invited me to lunch and I overstepped my boundaries.” He looks genuinely sorry, and it makes Niles’s heart squeeze inside his chest. “You didn’t have to feel obligated to come out to me. You could’ve just told me to stop sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.”

“It’s fine, man. I’m out, so I’m used to it. I wouldn’t have told you if I wasn’t or if I didn't feel safe. I was a bit scared you might react negatively and even ask me to not do the presentation anymore but Gail was there, so I was okay.” He chuckles lightly with the relief of thinking Sol doesn't hate him and seems to actually be trying to make something like friendship work for them.

“Oh, gods, you must’ve thought I hated you.” Niles looks up at the orc, not knowing how he read his mind. “I left immediately after, didn’t I? I’m such a jerk, I’m so sorry Niles. I keep messing up. You’ll never want to be friends with me. I’ll just be that weird guy from Classical Lit.”

Niles tips his head to one side and it occurs to him that he only does this around the orc. “You want to be friends with me?” he asks. “After I broke into you house to steal back my notebook, which, by the way, was full of doodles of you? That I drew without you even knowing I existed?”

Sol considers him for a moment. “You think I’m an idiot.” Niles thinks his voice is deeper than it was before.

“No, no... I just can’t figure you out, Solus Lumun.”

“I told you already. Whatever you want to know, just ask me.” There it is again. The openness, the honesty, the rawness he can’t get used to just yet. It’s overwhelming how candid, how genuine it sounds.

Niles doesn’t know if it is the proximity, the privacy, or the fact that he’s starting to feel tired but he asks, “Why did you offer to model for me?”

He can swear Sol’s cheeks darken, but maybe it’s the sun that’s started to go down. He’s certain his eyes go wide for a moment, though.

“I told you. I like your art. I like the way you draw, the way you draw me. Honestly, I thought you might let me keep one of the portraits if you decided they didn’t fit your portfolio. You don’t have to of course, it’s your work, and I’d happily save up for a commission.”

Niles shuffles his feet where he’s standing. He resists the urge to tilt his head sideways yet again. He speaks but he feels like an outsider to this conversation.

“You don’t think it’s creepy that I drew you for weeks without your knowledge or permission?”

Sol squints at him. Niles can tell they’re both trying to figure the other one out and feels like he’s crumbling beneath the scrutiny.

“No. I think it’s flattering. Felt like I was your muse.”

“Hm,” Niles looks down at his feet. That word holds weight, ‘muse’, he thinks.

“Which is why I’ve been trying to make amends. You stopped. You didn’t stop drawing me, you just stopped drawing and I feel I might be responsible for it. At least in class.”

“Oh,” Niles doesn’t know what to say. He thought it was obvious that out of decency he wouldn’t draw him while he was sitting next to him. That would just be embarrassing for both of them. Not that he would go back to drawing him if he went back to his previous seat. “It’s okay,” he says, not believing it fully himself. “I still draw. I’ve just limited myself to one or two doodles in class.”

Sol is looking away but Niles can tell he doesn’t believe him. It’s not a complete lie but it isn’t the truth either. Niles doesn’t know what else he could say, Sol looks like he wants to say something else but he doesn’t. Niles feels weak.

“If I draw you for my next assignment, can we start over?” Niles says finally. He hopes they can try again if they start from scratch. He doesn’t mention he won’t have portrait assignments for the next few weeks because last week’s were actually final works and they’ve moved on to something else.

Sol’s face lights up as he turns back to face him. His smile almost blinds Niles. He doesn’t wait for the orc to respond, already reaching for his sketchbook. A small smile pulling at his own cheeks.

They don’t work on their presentation for the rest of the evening. They sit down on the living room floor and Niles sketches Sol for a while. He can’t say this is unpleasant. He draws the orc as he reads some of the play they’re working on. The light coming in from the window makes him look angelic, Niles thinks. He tries to not let his crush show on the drawing. Abigail could probably still pick it up, though. Niles doesn’t show Sol the final product. Just thanks him for his time before saying it's late and he should leave and they can work on the presentation any other day that week. Sol proposes the following day, and Niles has to tame the smile that threatens to split his face as he nods his agreement. It drops as soon as the door closes behind him, though.

He’s not your boyfriend, a voice in his head says, won’t be. Niles tells the voice that he knows, he doesn’t need the reminder. He thinks about ways to get over someone on the ride home.

The next few days almost feel like routine. Class, lunch with Gail, Sol joins them when he doesn’t have class, Sol’s place in the afternoon, bus ride home, rinse and repeat.

It’s weird. Because it isn’t. Niles thinks he could do the same thing every day and be okay with it. He sighs, looking out the bus window.

It’s Friday, Sol and him did the final touches to their presentation but mostly just sat around and talked until it was time for Niles to leave. He’s realizing now, that not only is he not over Sol, he’s falling harder the more time they spend together. He’s glad they didn’t make any weekend plans.

On Saturday he meets Gail at Mel’s for brunch. She hasn’t teased him as much since Sol first had lunch with them and he’s not sure why but he’s thankful. He can tell she’s worried about him and he doesn’t want to worry her further but doesn’t know if it’s worse to talk about it or to leave it alone until it settles. He decides on the latter and cheerfully asks his friend about the horoscope. She punches his arm but they still read them on the newspaper. Niles tries to ignore the part of him that wonders what Sol’s sign is.

**Author's Note:**

> Second part of the series is Sol's POV (!) because I couldn't help myself.


End file.
